#after everything she’s been thru
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IN THE BACK OF MY MIND....HER LIPS.....ARE ALWAYS THERE
#self ship#selfship#spacie scribbles#anya mouthwashing#broooo i fucking cant#some of these doodles based off of fanfic i read#there was one where the reader was so nervous about everything and didnt wanna come onto the anya and meanwhile anya#was just like: thinks about gay sex thinks about gay sex thinks about gay sex#AND IT WAS REAAAAAAAAAL OBVIOUS ANYA WANTED REEADER#BUT LIKE READR WAS AS DENSE AS A BRICK#and also didnt wanna be disrespectful to anya ☝#i would feel bad lusting after ppl like reader you are soooo me#if someone wanted me as bad as anya did i wouldnt even fucking know. it would all go over my head.#reader finding out anya wants them carnally: :monnie_jawdrop_emote: WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING?!?!?!#reader: i cant lust after anya and think shes beautiful shes been thru so much..................#anya: i want yopu. .#oooh#im crazyyyy im insane#ok good night
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my high school’s theatre department is funded and supported by a professional local shakespeare festival and they win the state theatre competition so consistently that they’re only permitted to submit their plays for consideration there every two years to give other schools with fewer resources a shot and i guess what i’m saying is give chappell roan the goddamn grammy i promise taylor will survive
#tortured poets is simply not that good. sorry. and chappell deserves it after everything she’s been put thru this year#also would not be mad if charli got it. i’m just saying tortured poets was only album of the year to a very specific group of ppl yk.#i’m sure i will get hate for this so i will probs delete but ! i don’t hate taylor i just want to go like one day without hearing abt her yk#parker posts
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ireenaaaaaaa 😭😭😭😭😭
sorry for low quality, im using CSP demo so i cant export images i have to screenshot them lmfao. Also i think ive said this before but i genuinely dont know how ive gotten by using medibang for so long, CSP is SO much better for painting with.
#curse of strahd#my art#ireena kolyana#cos ireena#we totally failed her in our campaign i feel so bad for her 😭😭#she got nabbed after our first dinner w strahd#the dm told me like according to the book n everything we straight up lost#but wed only been playing a month or so and we had a lot more to get thru and we were having so much fun#we still areeee im so excited for our next inperson session next week
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My Name Is Kanaya Maryam
You Fucked My Wife
PREPARE TO DIE
#HAS THIS BEEN DONE ALREADY Idk I came into this uhh However-Many-Months Late and it was the 1st thing to come to mind...alongside...like...#I can't be the only one who thinks that . . . HS^2 treating everything as if the only way Jade can overcome her adverse experiences is by:#sabotaging close (sapphic) friends' relationship (on/around Lesbian Visibility Day 💀) thru lying about the child she neglected#after they were already born from a secret love affair ?????#Even taking the whole infidelity aspect out--which is complicated within itself--I'm SICK of this perpetuated idea of#~women's trauma and how it can only be bearable/managed/overcome through producing offspring~#Maybe stop assigning so much importance to the idea that women universally desire reproducing as a sole or major mental health crutch#and instead tell more stories about healing inner childhood wounds & breaking the cycle of abuse to avoid traumatizing future generations#Oh I Almost Forgot#*points to my post's text color mockingly* MOBILE USERRR#homestuck#homestuck 2#hs^2#upd8 h8#beyond canon critical#kanaya maryam#jade harley#rose lalonde
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pip... pippa ingellvar... never posted her final look.... look at my queen
#rookreveal#she went thru sm changes#dragon age#datv#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#datv spoilers#kinda?? just screenshots#pippa tag#might post the biggest infodump ever of her soon#long post#ok infodump my MOURNWATCH WARRIOR GIRLYYYYY her name is phillippa but pippa but pip for short#rook because shes very much a go straight and attack type character#was found by 3 spirits in the crypts and is quite literally ice age baby. they brought her to the watch#raised by a very elderly couple then went into the watch. still is friends with the 3 spirits. when one of the couple died she ran away#it was a bad time in the city streets and came back later after being found#was tasked a lot with being in the lowest level of the crypts because. crypt baby. elf (can see in the dark). warrior. spirits like her#this caused her to be trapped in the necropolis constantly... and was left starving and in the dark a lot.#would survive thanks to spirit pals. bugs. and flora#had black eye whites for a time from being underground also#anyways her spirit pals got corrupted and destroyed and saved her in relation to the precursor to the war of banners#in her rage she did a whole rebellion. saved the day. had nobody left. to top it off was kicked out#varric found her sobbing and crying with snot and everything cause she knows nothing about the surface.#they played a game of chess and hes like come join my band and shes like ok.......#and yeah then veilguard happens. she takes being a leader seriously so she takes hard decisions seriously#stern angry muscle punch lady but also if not threatened shes funny laid back and kind#she also never sleeps. why is her room so bright. so she spends every night in the dining room by the fire and chats with lucanis#(been watching boston legal so very much like the ends of those episodes where they chat on the porch)#her best friend i gotta say DOES end up being lucanis. and in my playthrough yes she romanced him but even if she didnt theyd still be bffs#shes close with everyone to be fair
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9-1-1 au where karen gets to scream for a solid 30 seconds uninterrupted
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absolute kyle rayner but it’s him getting fridged from fighting major force & alex dewitt (his gf that got fridged) that becomes a green lantern instead
#absolute dc#dc#dc comics#kyle rayner#dc green lantern#green lantern corps#green lantern#alex dewitt#fridging#major force#i just think after the treatment alex got kyle should get fridged#yknow. for equality#for legal reasons this is joke#seriously speaking i would love to see more content of alex dewitt outside of her fridging bc she’s a truly fascinating character#she’s a photographer—an artist just like kyle but she’s a lot more responsible than him#& i imagine that would cause conflict vs kyle who initially acts more flighty#but also she cares about kyle just as much that she refused to give away his location and didn’t die w/o a fight#whereas most female fridged characters ends up dying w/o a fight#she had agency and it was stolen from her#how can the narrative gift her that back?#after everything she’s been thru?
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🖤 (from desmond!!)
attractiveness:
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
personality:
grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive (when necessary in order to protect her as her sworn sword) / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.
how likely they would have sex with them:
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now (the Pain of being married & being a queen & wanting to be a good role model for your children & ur sworn sword is a kingsguard) / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING.
#answered.#sevynhells#oh g-d what if i kms#dynamic; helaena & desmond.#she's c.aed- & d.emi so like. her falling in love w/ & especially wanting to be sexually intimate w/ sb is. Very hard for her to do#SHES LIKE!!!!! SO CAREFREE YET SO RESTRAINED AROUND HIM. LIKE. THAT MAN IS HER ROCK.#like ...... he & vaenna are the first people she calls for after aegon right after b&c happened#like. she HATES how he blames himself bc literally none of this was ever his fault#like. he left his homeland in dorne in the tor to SERVE AS A KINGSGUARD BUT EVEN MORE THAN THAT TO SERVE /HER/#he devoted himself to her in a way she's never seen w/ her father towards alicent. she NEVER feels unwanted or unappreciated around him EVE#he laughs at her her jokes even when she missed the punchline or gets it wrong. he never makes her feel like a madwoman like so many ppl do#like even if he doesn't understand she never once felt like he was ever judging her. that man will track her down like a BLOODHOUND#like i genuinely believe that helaena prayed CONSTANTLY for someone like him to come around & the gods gave her him#i genuinely wouldnt be surprised bc of how close they are that aegon would've noticed that & been like jealous about it bc he's possessive#but like. she represses these desires bc like. she's MARRIED & she's the QUEEN & she has children she wants to be a good role model for#& not to mention during helaena's entire marriage to aegon she was still loyal to him despite everything bc she wants her children spared#she literally wears gold after sunfyre & has a golden sun wedding ring & so when b&c happens that's just. taken away from her.#& then there's Also her dynamic w/ vaenna her childhood best friend & her whole conflicted sapphic feelings surrounding her#& honestly she feels ashamed for having those desires at all & not to mention he's a kingsguard member so if they did anything he could DIE#& like. she cares about him & i'd say loves him & she doesnt want him to get hurt. so like its. extremely difficult for her#so yeah helaena is. Very Conflicted around him but she genuinely loves & desires that man w/ all her heart.#if anything its probably more likely in a post dance survival au that she'd Say Something About It#but like. there's definitely subtle hints thrown here & there that she tries Not to let show but you can cut thru that tension like a KNIFE#iTS SO HEARTBREAKING MAN
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Some art of Tori from @misfitmccoward ‘s Naruto fic Plasticity! Because!! It’s such a good fucking fic…! I had to do fanart for it!! honestly after I first read it I was so fucking hype about it that I was almost like “omg.. I have to do an animatic or something for this. it’s SO GOOD” but. My ability to do animatics has kinda flushed down the drain recently ghghg- But! Still!! I had to at least draw some fanart for it…!
#sorry if I got any details wrong! it’s been a few months since I read the fic!#I mean. I originally drew this right after first reading it. but! I only finished them now so. I might have screwed something up ggh-#but yeah! YEAH! OMG! I FUCKING LOVE THIS FIC!?!?!?!?#ITS SO GOOD!?!?#LIKE. ughghghggh. idk. I read it while still pretty deep in my head about awful life stuff#and just. reading Tori. going thru absolute HELL. was like. cathartic?? like my life. is not even a fraction of the shitshow hers is#but! JUST! STILL! like.. the way she responds to stuff… the delayed reactions. the attempts to just roll w the punches.#the fACT ALL OF HER POSSESSIONS ARE LIKE. MEANINGFUL AND IMPORTANT TO HER.#like that’s! a small detail in the grand scheme of the fic but the fact that sort of thing is commented on at all is like! FUCK.#I GET IT TORI I FUCKING GET IT#AND ITS SO FUN!!! like yeah shit is awful for tori basically ALL THE TIME. but it’s not! a downer to read! its fucking fun as hell to read!#the interactions between all the characters are SO GOOD! and entertaining!! literally EVERYTHING in this fic is a fucking delight!!!#and it’s like! ITS SO GOOD AT GETTING U TO ROOT FOR TORI! like!!!#yea I recognize Tori has slowly crossed all her moral and ethical lines and become. like. pretty fucked up.#but like! seeing that shift. coincide w the slow shift. towards everything in her life becoming NOT completely horrible#it’s just like!!! yes! girl! do what u gotta do! become a monster! get some happiness in ur life!#like it’s like… I love it so much. its such a fucking good fic. it’s sO FUN. I cannot overstate. how fun this fic is.#and Tori’s such an endearing character!! and everyone else is really likeable and well written too!#lIKE. IDK. ITS JUST A GREAT FIC DUDES. ITS GREAT#doodles#plasticity#blood#tori mendoza#also. the song that I was thinking of using for the animatic was gonna be ‘stupid intruders’#cuz I heard it and immediately was just like. OMG. THIS FITS THE VIBES SO WELL. like. it just felt very fitting ghgh#also also! Srry for misspelling ‘obviously’ in the first pic.. spelling is hard ghg-#but!! yeah!! have some art. of Tori! cuz I love her! and I love this fic!!#featuring 2 diff pics of her absolutely covered in blood from the 1st chapter! cuz. that was iconic…#and also I felt I didn’t properly convey the like. drowned rat energy the first time gGHG-#god ok I’m running out of tags now. U SHOULD READ THIS FIC IF U WANT ITS RLLY GOOD. highly recommend! it’s fucking great!
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IVE NEVER GOT THIS HOWE DIALOGUE. THROWING UPPPPPPPPPPPP
#GOD. THIS GAME. RENDON HOWE DIE HORRIBLY CHALLENGE (EASY)#tay plays dao#A FOOL HUSK OF A DAUGHTER LIKELY TO END HER DAYS UNDER A ROCK IN THE DEEP ROADS????????#'bryce couslands little spitfire all dressed up and still playing the man' has always been one of my favorite lines Ever. AND NOW THIS ???#BRO.......................................................................................#oc: elspeth#for her this is taking place like. a bit less than 2 months after the deep roads supertrauma i was talking abt yesterday lol#her being at her weakest psychologically and. dsfkjhjfsdfd#hearing THAT?????????? and being like ok. some points have been made#but also after the deep roads shes simultaneously stuck in this ''nothing is real and nothing matters'' mindse so it doesnt hurt as much#since shes already been telling herself all that for months anyway.#like yeah ok and what of it. i might be nothing but im abt to cut YOU into nothing and that will make me feel better <3#GJKGFJKFG#i also think its so funny going from the deep roads to howe's estate quest. like going frm the closest thing in lore to hell itself#to the mansion of some fucking scrawny prissy loser who hasnt picked up a sword in 20 years w guards who dont know shit abt shit#the whole party just. cutting thru them like a wave sjdksjk#ANYWAY NOT TO TIE EVERYTHING BACK TO THE DEEP ROADS BUT IT IS LITERALLY ALL ABT THE DEEP ROADS BTW <3 ALL OF IT <3
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KARLACH BROKE UP WITH ME AT WYRM’S LOOKOUT!!!?!!!!!!!! I’m gonna cry for real in real life I’m real life upset
#after everything we’ve been thru. held me thru the night when I tried to kill her#she goes and breaks my heart#WHAT NOW?!???#bg3#fucking unbelievable
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hello friendz !! ᰔ i hope everyone’s had or is having a great day ^_^ !!
#finally home & so so happy teehee#seeing my bed after 5-6 days … yeah . yeah . i needed her#i’m gonna start catching up on everything tooooo & go thru the asks u guys sent ^_^ !#i hope everyone has been doing well and had a good weekend !!!#sending out sm love !#also . i have been going insane about kuroo for the last 2 days with this new chapter .#more to follow .#my bestie watched me read it … i was kicking my feet and giggling fr#BUT SHES FINALLY GONNA START HAIKYUU FOR ME :’)#FINALLY#but anyway#con kicked my ass !!!!!!#it was sm fun tho :3 !#mmkay that’s a lot of updates i’m gonna go deep dive into tumblrz now#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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Feel free to skip on past this, I’ve just gotta ramble for a minute bc i cant stop thinking about this kid from work last week. They were so much like me at that age (5-6th grade) that I didn’t know how to interact with them? I didn’t know what to say to them bc I don’t know what I needed to hear back then, what I would’ve WANTED to hear? What would I have even listened to? They were almost entirely silent and looked out at the world with a hesitant curiosity, but would pull back so fast as soon as you tried to interact w them. Little to no eye contact, face hidden in hair, always looking down, following others until they could strike off on their own and just quietly explore. Intently focusing on drawing any chance they got. We did an art project and they hunched over their piece the entire time and wouldn’t let any of us see it in progress, refusing to look up or acknowledge us if we asked to see it or to know what it was. Idk. I barely interacted w them while they were with us for those few days bc I didn’t know how? It almost hurt to try? It was like looking back into a time machine and i didn’t know how to tell them that it does get better,,, I still don’t even know if where I am is better, some days feel so unsure that I don’t think I’ve made any progress at all. But seeing that kid, idk. I’ve come pretty far. And it DOES get better. Maybe it’s not the best now, or even that great at all, but it’s better. I wish I could’ve told them but I don’t think they’d have wanted to hear it anyway
#im a rambling sam#I’m in a weird place again since getting here for this season of work#idk maybe I’ve been in a weird place all year probably#I don’t think I’m that far from where I was at that age but I know I am there’s just still so much further to go#one day I think it’ll feel easier but maybe not today#I do love working w kids but I’m considering going into horticulture instead of outdoor education bc I don’t know if I can handle this#I can#but god I don’t know#in my heart I’m still that exact kid and she’s still in there so damn anxious and unsure and needing to observe the world and everyone in it#just to get some sense of understanding of just what the fuck is going on around here#but by the time I’ve gotten a good handle on what is going on everything is already so set in place and my place is outside the system and I#I don’t know how to step into it#sorry sorry I’m still rambling I’m having a weird day I probably just haven’t eaten nearly enough in the last few days and I’m about to#start teaching on my own this week which is terrifying and I can’t stop thinking abt that damn kid I wish they stayed longer I think#we probably would’ve gotten along#but groups only come here for a couple days and then go home which is v weird after having the same kids for 3 weeks for summer camp#idk life gets better and it gets worse and sometimes u grow into the world a little more but there’s still a mute child in your ribcage#little hands pressed up against ur ribs like laying a palm against a bus window#I put my hand over my sternum as if we could press our hands together thru time#when I was that age I used to pretend to have someone around me like an imaginary friend but usually it was a book character that I liked#and I’d talk to myself in my head like having a conversation and giving myself motivation and assurances from someone else to me#and now I’m here and I still talk to myself like that but without the imagined friend as a buffer I just talk to myself in my head#now I’m the imaginary friend for the little Sam that lives in my chest#when I talk to myself I’m talking to her#I’m giving her the assurance she needed back then#the assurance I still need now#I am here for her so I am here for myself#this is getting poetically nonsensical maybe it’s time for bed
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#txt#had a therapy appointment today#the first one post Unlocking some traumatic memories so obvi i brought it up and ive been crying since 4:15pm and it is currently 7:34pm#i like walked home crying too lol my head hurts a lil n i feel like im see thru BUT i feel a lil lighter#plus my dr told me shes proud of me for how well i analyzed everything in my brain and externalized it to her#and she said that so much clicked to her abt me after i said it#idk . gonna drink to that though! and watch glee w dee
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there's a ffic in my head. oouuuag. its Cookin
#domestic little character study of The Bg3 Gang after the everything. in this specific playthrough#tav. grieving karlach and also devastated that astarion can't be out in the sun anymore#more than anything i love Aftermath fics. like who are you once the danger passes#the good and bad things that happen to people when they're no longer constantly in survival mode#it takes a lot longer to actually feel safe. and tavelle has been spearheading this group and still feels so responsible for them#takes her a long time to adjust to not being able to have tabs on anyone and she is SO fucked up about karlach#who tf is astarion when he's de-tadpoled and still spawn. he got to be out in th e sun but not anymore. that's sooo sad#tav can and will trawl thru every enchanter store on the planet until she finds someone who can make like a#sunlight protected item for him#very important for this fic that a) astarion doesn't know that that's what she's up to and#b) is worried about her bc she is clearly up to something and it's also like. visibly upsetting her and#c) when she does finally come up with something she crashes into the room to the degree that he thinks she's being chased or some shit#also this tav is 100% not going to stop adventuring for better or for worse. by adventuring i mean. mercenary work#she's throwing herself into fights still. bc she doesn't know what to do with herself And Specifically to rack up enough money to get#that sun shield thing for astarion#and he will have Words for her abt that#also have an extremely silly idea about the enchanter. very obvious silly idea abt who it is. im gonna name him.. tumas pol
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